How to get a great guy

As a skeptical single, I don't pick up too many dating books or read too many how-to land a man columns.. except for my monthly Cosmopolitan magazine, perhaps. But today, I spotted one on the MSN homepage as I started to check my hotmail.

Here were some of the tips:

* Stop believing the man shortage hype. First of all, it doesn’t exist. According to the US Census Bureau, by 2010, there will be just over 1 million extra men in the 20- to 44-age range. Besides, as a unique and exceptional woman, you don’t expect the right man for you to be a “dime a dozen” type. So quit complaining about how bad men are; that just invites bad men into your life.

*Expand your dating pool. Whatever strategies you use to meet men, multiply them by doing things you’ve never done. Try Internet dating, go to singles’ events, and agree to sensible fix-ups. If those methods aren’t yielding results, go further—track down an old crush, throw a singles soiree, dress up and dine alone at a hotspot. Just get out there!

So, here's what I want to know from the author Amy DuBois Barnett, former editor in chief of Teen People, how long has she been single? Oh, wait a quick biography check from Random House shows "She lives in New York City with her husband and son."

Just as I expected. Because if she was single, she'd know the first tip doesn't tell me anything about how to meet one and the other one doesn't give me much help either. If you're like me, you've probably tried internet dating, maybe even speed dating, you've been fixed up, you've gone to events, etc. And still.. nothing. Now, I'm not trying to be a "Negative Nelly" here, but I just get tired of hearing these types of tips handed out as "insightful."

I will give Mrs. Barnett some credit though, she had a few ideas about when to move on I wish I'd recognized earlier in my life:

*Never look back. If you get that feeling — in your heart, your gut, your head and your senses — that a relationship is not working, make a clean break and don’t look back. Do not stay in the wrong relationship; it’s not fair to you or him. And if it’s a bad (as in physically or verbally abusive) scene, get out now!

*Don’t kid yourself. Men are not very complicated, so if he tells you he’s not looking for a relationship or doesn’t want to settle down, believe him. He’s not lying. He’s not testing you. He’s not just in need of the love of a good woman (i.e., you) to prove otherwise. You’re wasting your time at best, setting yourself up for heartbreak at worst.

So, what is a single girl to do? Well, she is right about needing to get out there. But isn't there something to be said for trying too hard too? I happen to believe in chemistry and fate, maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. I still don't think I'm going to meet the man of my dreams on eHarmony. I do happen to have a few more days left on my subscription, so we'll see I guess. But you loyal readers know, I haven't had much success up until now (i.e. the date that turned out not to be one.)

What's the best way to meet men? What's worked for you? I want to hear all about it. E-mail me your tips to miss.attitude7@gmail.com.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude