Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Advice for husbands

This blog is for the husbands out there. I think the advice could apply to some boyfriends too. As you know Miss Attitude is single and quite content to live alone, but I couldn't help but laugh when one of my married friends told me this story.

She was on out of town for six days. She was on a job search so she and her husband can possibly relocate. So it's not as if she went on vacation or something without him. So she gets into the airport where her husband meets her. Before she got much further into telling me the story, I interjected that I thought that was nice since no one ever meets me at the airport. She said that's what husbands are supposed to do. But I digress...

So she's pulling her luggage, which he hasn't offered to help do and she says, "Baby, can you help me?" He says sure and grabs the bag. Then she asks for a kiss, which he gives her. Not exactly a romantic homecoming, is it? But wait, the story gets a lot better. So then when they get the car she asks her husband if there's food at home because she's hungry and doesn't want to stop for fast food, which is the only thing open that late. He tells her there isn't anything at home. "You didn't go to the grocery store for six days?" she asks. He admits he did, but only got stuff for him including beer and soda. So needless to say, she's not happy about the return so far.

So exhausted, and I should also mention also sick, she walk into her house and is overcome with the stench of ammonia. If you have cats, you know what I'm talking about. They have three cats and apparently her husband didn't change the litter box the entire time she was gone. Not once. So, still in her interview suit, she heads to the cat box to empty it, lifts off the lid and can't believe what she sees. Flies. Yes, Flies.

After that disgusting task she heads into the kitchen, where of course the dishes haven't been done either. And don't quote me on this part, but I think she mentioned clothes on the floor in the bathroom or someplace as well. (I have to admit I couldn't really concentrate after hearing about the flies.) Finally, she pats her husband on the back and says, "You're batting a thousand, aren't you?"

I had to laugh, because her husband is such a nice, easy going guy. And after three years of marriage she admits she rarely has anything to complain about. He works hard and loves & adores her. After finishing the story she laughs and says, "The moral of the story fellas is clean the fucking house when your wife is gone."

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude


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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I must be the only lucky woman around as my husband does most of the cleaning and I don't have to ask!! Your blog does sound like a typical male thing to do though.

Anonymous said...

Funny! I'm getting ready to take off with the baby for 4 days.. and I just got done cleaning the entire house.
I figure if he starts with a pristime palate perhaps it won't be totally tragic when I get home!!
We'll see..
To be continued...!

Anonymous said...

Oh yuck. That would really... piss me off. But he probably won't let it happen again.

My fiance picked me up in the airport after being in Rome for three months and I thought he would be all cuddly and excited. Instead he said "I thought you would wear something nicer to meet me in the airport." Hmm. We all have those "off" moments I guess!

NotAMeanGirl said...

HAH! I've been living out of town and only come home for a weekend here or there... This house... is a pig stye... STYE people. I'll spend my entire time here trying to make it resemble a home again. Fooker.

johntindale said...

I just try not to touch anything

Anonymous said...

Now that is not fair. How can you expect a guy to do all that stuff when she's away, when he is not expected to do it when she's home?

Anonymous said...

After reading your post I thought, "Is she talking about my husband?" I think he's learned from our many years together that I'm a neat freak so he "tries" when I'm away. He will throw his shoes and clothes in his closet and shut the door, he'll put the caked-on dirty dishes in the dishwasher (even though it will take a hammer and chisel to get them clean) and he attempts to coral all the unopened mail into one place. I've given up hope. There is no changing them no matter how hard you try.

dalydose said...

I think I told you this on another site, but this applies to men who have female roommates too. My roomie is out for two weeks and the place looks completely different. Now I *know* I have to fix it back up again before she gets home or I'll be "in trouble".