Friday, June 6, 2008

Am I jinxing myself?

Do you ever feel like you're tempting fate by getting too excited about something? Well, I do. I don't consider myself a hugely superstitious person, but sometimes I really think I jinx myself. For years I've felt that it's best not to talk about anything until it's a done deal. And whenever I don't follow my gut about that, I usually don't get what I want. So that has me asking, is it possible to jinx yourself or was it just not meant to be?


When it comes to dating, I've always tried not to talk about a guy I'm interested in until I know it's going somewhere. When you get too interested too soon, you wind up having to tell everyone it didn't work out. Or when you think he's about to take you on a romantic date, you rush out and buy a new outfit only to learn a short time later he's cancelled. So now the feeling is magnified when it comes to the job search.

I know everyone means well when they call right after one of my job interviews to see how it went. I know they're just being supportive. But quite frankly I don't like talk about it over and over. I don't want to get my hopes up or jinx myself. In the past three months I've probably only interviewed for a couple of jobs I actually wanted. But after each interview, I left with a feeling of incompleteness. During the course of my career, I've always known when I nailed a job interview and the interviewer is going to hire me. At my last job, my boss offered me the position right in her office during the middle of the interview. So I'm a pretty confident person. And intellectually I know that talking about how an interview went didn't lose me the job, I really never had it to begin with.

But still, there's just something about the feeling I can't explain. Maybe it's not actually an issue of jinxing myself, but of convincing myself my gut feeling isn't accurate. Because in all of these interviews my gut feeling was I didn't get the job, despite the fact that I was extremely qualified. So I think I'm going to learn to keep more of this process to myself. It's not that I'm not interested in sharing or that I want to hurt any of my friend's or family member's feelings. I just need to do this for myself. Besides it really is difficult enough to be unemployed as it is without worry about explaining yourself to everyone else.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

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