If patience is a virtue, I'm not virtuous!

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of patience is the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. And I, by my own admission, am not patient. I remember my first lessons in patience. When I was in elementary school one of my cousins and I were nearly inseperable. Whenever we wanted to do something really badly our mothers would always say, "Good things come to those who wait." I remember cringing every time I heard that phrase. I didn't understand why we had to wait for what we wanted. And now more than 20 years later, I still don't understand why I have to wait.

As a young TV news producer, I didn't have a lot of patience. I wanted that video now, I wanted the reporter to answer her phone right away, I wanted the director to take that graphic immediately. At times I even lost my temper a little bit. I was known to slam the phone down and hang up on people. I even threw a few pens, nothing really serious, but enough to show I wasn't a patient woman. Then I became an Executive Producer and didn't have any choice but to change. In the beginning I had to fake my patience. Eventually, I actually grasped the concept and on most days was able to remain calm and not get annoyed. On most days. Then by the time I became an Assistant News Director, I thought I had the patience thing down pat. Until I got laid off that is.

Now after more than two months of looking for a full-time job, it's become increasingly obvious I'm not really a patient woman. I knew it would take some time, especially since I'm not looking for jobs in TV news. And I'm not unappreciative of my accomplishments and the wonderful things I've been able to do with my free time. Afterall, I launched my own Website and I'm being featured in a national women's magazine. I'm getting ready to teach college classes in two weeks. I'm done some freelance writing. I've also been able to spend some quality time with my friends. Something I hadn't been doing when I was working 70-80 hours a week. I'm also enjoying this beautiful Florida weather, one of the main reasons I moved here in the first place. I'm also exercising more and eating healthier. All great things.

But, and yes, there's a but. I'm bored. The workaholic in me just can't stand sitting around and waiting much longer. It's difficult to wait for employers to get back to me about my applications. It's difficult to wait after what you think was a successful interview. Then there's the concern about money. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about the fact I won't be able to afford to pay my mortgage after the summer is over. It's actually almost terrifying. I've tried my best to remain positive about this situation. And though I know people mean well, I'm tired of hearing "Everything happens for a reason," or "Something better will come along." Again, I try and stay positive, I really do. But my patience is definitely wearing thin.

If you've ever been unemployed, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, I highly recommend coming up with a plan in case it happens to you. I'm not trying to scare anyone, but in this economy it makes sense to prepare. I often think if I'd had a plan maybe I wouldn't be so impatient. So for now, I'm working on a new plan and focusing on the things I can control. And maybe, just maybe good things WILL come to those who wait.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

P.S. If you've had a similar problem, I'd love to hear from you. You can e-mail me at missattitude@missattitude.us.