Dear Miss Attitude

(From my column in Attitudes Magazine)

Dear Miss Attitude:
I'm a married 32 old man. I have been married for 7 years now. Our marriage has been through a lot of ups and downs. It has come to the point where our finances are killing us.
My wife has been talking to another guy for a year and a half. She talks to him on and off and tells him her problems.
I don't think she has ever done anything with him, but I'm not sure. I have been interested in my wife's best friend for a few weeks now. She is beautiful, smart, funny and very smart when it comes to money.
The other day I left her a stuffed animal at her door with a letter that said from your secret admirer. She told my wife about this, and my wife knew right away it was from me. Of course, my wife is so mad. She has always said she thought I had a crush on her friend. Now the friend has no idea I have a crush on her or that I have feelings for her.
My wife has done a lot for this girl and they are loyal to each other. So what do I do? I'm torn.

Dear Reader:
The answer to your marriage problems is definitely not to cheat on your wife. I want to stress, I am not a licensed therapist. Before you have any other conversations with this woman, I would advise you to seek professional counseling. It’s very common for couples to argue about finances, but it appears you may have other problems if your wife is confiding in another man and hasn’t stopped when you asked her. Since money is tight, you may not want to spend it on counseling, but I think it would be a wise investment before you make a decision you may regret. You may want check with your employer. Many offer free and confidential counseling services. Or if you belong to a church, many offer free counseling services as well.

Dear Miss Attitude:
“I can tell he's more interested in me than I am in him. But I really enjoy his company, even if I am not interested in seeing him naked. Is it wrong of me to want to hang out with him, knowing this?”

Dear Reader:
I don’t think it’s wrong if you’re honest with him and with yourself. But if you’re leading him on, allowing him to believe the possibility the relationship will become more when it won’t, then that is wrong. Think about a time when the role’s been reversed, when you really liked someone, but he didn’t like you romantically. How did you feel when he kept hanging out with you, but didn’t want to be your boyfriend? When you think about it that way, the answer is simple. You should always treat other people the way you would want to be treated.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

Need advice? Send your e-mail to missattitude@missattitude.us