I know I shouldn't laugh at this...

My friend Brooke posted this one on her blog and I couldn't resist "borrowing" it! It's freakin' hysterical. If you offend easily, you may want to skip this one. But keep in mind while it may be wrong, there's really nothing technically offensive about it.



Oh, come on! Definitely worth a giggle:)

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

I'm really having trouble with this mouse!

My grandmother had her first spin on a PC the other day. The motivation: online slot machines. First, I should tell you my grandmother loves the slot machines at Dover Downs. When her 80 year old friend told her she could play the slots online for free, my grandmother just had to try. So my mom set her up and here are a few things I overheard:

Grandmother: "I'm really having trouble with this mouse!"
"Can I just tape it down?"
"That's where I have trouble getting it down there."
"See I lost that thing again. get down there!"



Then last night when she came over for dinner with my grandfather and her friend, the first thing she asked was to play on the computer. Here are a few more things I heard as she clicked away:

Grandmother: "I'm trying to get the hang of the mousy mousy"

"Oh, I have more trouble with this guy."

"I don't understand it, it's not doing anything."
Grandmother's 80 yr old friend: "Are you out of money?"

gm: "I don't know what I'm betting, but those credits go fast"

gm's f: " I don't know what you're betting either."

gm: "Now I lost it (mouse) completely."
gm's f: "Move it, you'll find it."

Now my mom will have to let her play everytime she comes over. Somehow I think that's all she'll ever learn online. So I won't hold my breath for an e-mail, though her 80 year old friend does e-mail me.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

I'll have a Corona cowboy hat please!

Have you ever seen one of these?



It's a beer box cowboy hat. Last night when I walked into a bar, I spotted this woman wearing one.



I had never seen one before. And then when I looked across the bar, I spotted more people wearing them.



We asked the bartender and found out some guy was selling them for $25. One of my friends really wanted a Corona one. So she went over to ask and found out all they had was Coors Light and Miller Lite. No dice. She was set on the Corona.

So today I went online and Googled it. I was surprised to see there are several sites that sell these beer box hats and apparently $25 is the going rate. There's Beer Hats Online and Gags and Goods. but still no Corona. Maybe she'll just have to build her own on this site. You get an eBook and beer box hat templates for only $9.97!

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

True Floridians Know...

I don't usually forward these things, let alone post 'em on my blog. But I couldn't resist this one.

True Floridians Know...

1.. Socks are only for bowling.
2..You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
3..A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
4..Your winter coat is made of denim.
5..You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
6..You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
6..Anything under 70 is chilly.
7.You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
8..You could swim before you could read.
9..You have to drive north to get to The South.
10..You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
11..Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
12..You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark
13..You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
14..You dread love bug season.
15..You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list.
They aren't
Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley , Frances ,
Ivan and Jeanne.
16..You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
17..You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
18..You were 12 before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.
18..'Down South' means Key West
20..You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York .
21..Flip-flops are everyday wear.
22..Shoes are for business meetings and church,
23..but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
24..Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
25..An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
26..You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida
27..You measure distance in minutes .
28..You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
29..You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
30..A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
32. .You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
33..You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer
34..It's not soda, cola, or pop.
it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor:
'What kinda coke you want?'
35..Anything under 95 is just warm.
36..You've hosted a hurricane party.
37..You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
( Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)
38..You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
39..You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Ichnatucknee and Withlacoochee
40..You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than to own a boat yourself.
41..Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.
42..You were five before you realized they made houses without pools.
43..You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
44..You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
45..You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba '.
46..You not only forward this joke to your friends but you understand it

Come on, you had to admit some were pretty funny!

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

P.S. Since I'm actually from Maryland and up here this week, I want to share what I had for dinner last night. All you can eat steamed crabs.. yummy!

It's like waiting for a date to the prom...

As most of you know I've been major job search mode for the past three months. And while many of the people around me fortunately have not been laid off like me, several either know their jobs are not necessarily safe or are just looking for another challenge. It's hard to explain what the job search can do to your morale and mental health. And my intention here is not to get too serious, but to share that it's a delicate balance of handling rejection and still feeling confident about your abilities. And it's all about the waiting game. A couple days ago I received a job search update from a talented young woman I briefly supervised. I want to share one of her comments that made me laugh, but was also right on:


"I feel like I'm waiting for someone to invite me to prom or something. I have decided I don't really like job searching..it's quite annoying."

I also think I'm in rough shape if my job search is anything like my dates to the prom. Yes, I said dates. Let me explain. My first date was supposed to my boyfriend of several months, but he broke up with me a month before the prom. Then my second date was a friend of a friend. He turned out to be a little crazy and I had to cancel on him despite the fact he'd already ordered his tux. A girl's gotta protect herself. So my third and actual date was another friend of a friend. And to say it was a disaster was an understatement. My dad called him by the wrong name, I spent most of the night avoiding him and let's just say he went around the after-party telling all of my friends how I didn't like him. So please, let's hope my job search is more fruitful than my prom date search.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

OC here I come... before the ocean evaporates!

Tomorrow morning I'm heading to Ocean City, MD for vacation. I'll be spending a week going to the beach,



eating steamed crabs,



hitting the bars/restaurants including Seacrets


and of course hanging out with the family. I love Ocean City. I grew up going there for the summer as a kid, went to college about 45 minutes away and lived there for a while after I graduated. I think it's a pretty special beach resort. But I think the mayor has lost his mind. When my aunt told me about OC's new tourist campaign I thought she was kidding. Take a look:



All I can do is laugh. Does the mayor and his city council seriously think telling people the ocean is going to evaporate in a billion years is going to get people to head to the beach this summer? This may be my last chance? I think I've got about a billion more chances to go. But it did get the commercial on YouTube, so maybe the publicity is working. Either way, I plan on enjoying my vacation in OC. Bring on the steamed crabs and Thrasher's french fries!



I'll try and post some pics this week. And don't forget to check out my Twitter and Plurk updates for all the vacation fun.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

Mosquito home remedy update

Okay, I think all the itching has caused me to lose my mind. Some of my Pleeps (Plurk Users) suggested Windex in the last post. And I tried it and thought it was working. But alas, the relief only lasted a few minutes. So I decided to try the baking soda & water paste suggestion. (I wasn't going to waste money on meat tenderizer and had baking soda in the fridge!)



And here I'm embarrassingly going to share a picture of me putting it on one of my legs, which BTW has 26 bites!



I know I should be embarrassed for this post, like I said I think all this itching has gotten to me. It seems to be working *fingers crossed* So what's your home remedy for mosquito bites?

Stylishly (& covered in baking soda) yours,
Miss Attitude

P.S. You can read what my Pleeps are saying about the Windex idea here and here and finally the baking soda paste here.

Stupid boys, one night stands and kids who ride the short bus

I love David and Goliath products. I've been a fan for years. I have a few t-shirts including this old standby.



And I happen to think the sayings are amusing and not hard-core male-bashing as some people have claimed. In 2004, I read about a father who launched a campaign against "Boys are Stupid" products. His campaign had the opposite effect on me. I went online right away and my love of these t-shirts was instantaneous. I bought two. And forgive me if I laugh but "it's natural that many boys feel the deck is stacked against them." was one of his arguments. Hello! Welcome to being a girl or a woman! Besides these products are meant to be humorous and entertaining.

Last weekend when I was in Key West with my friends, three of us hit the David & Goliath store. We were laughing so hard in the store, I almost peed my pants. Take a look at some of the ones we spotted:



Sadly for the clerk who kept following us around re-folding the shirts we barely touched, we didn't buy anything. But it was definitely free entertainment.




BTW-- this one is my new favorite.



My only major complaint with these products is the shirts are made so teeny tiny. Please, some of us have boobs and can't fit in what you call a large! I also personally happen to think the tank tops are too long (because that's what I wanted to buy.) I know that style seems to be in, but some of us are petite! Make 'em shorter please.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

I think I'm going to officially name my booty...

I was cruising Mixx and came across the funniest submission. Did you know you can Name Your Wang or your boyfriend/husband's? Of course I'll read just about anything for an interesting blog, so I checked out the Website immediately.



The site claims to be "the first and only certified site to register and receive a 'Certificate of Authenticity' of ownership of your wang name." I immediately clicked on the Q & A section and it was quite entertaining.
Is this for real?
This site is for real. We are the only authorized site to issue certified wang certificates. All copy cat sites are a joke and should not be taken seriously. According to Government regulations their can only be one issuing site. Nameyourwang.com was chosen above all the rest.
Seriously? Oh and in case you were wondering it's not limited to your private parts. You can name a booty, chest or even big toe. It's just not as common.

No before you start naming your wang or other other body part, you have to check and make sure the name isn't already registered. There are also a few rules. You can't use cuss words or vulgar words. And that's about it. So in the name of research I chose Princess Sophia. Ladies if you love chick flicks, you know I got this one from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. So I entered the name and it's available. So the next step in the registration is where I stopped. (I don't think I can write this off on my taxes.) It costs $17. $2.50 is for shipping and handling. I'm assuming that's for the certificate...

Okay, this is a joke, right? Please tell me no one has really done this. Although I guess it wouldn't be a bad gag gift for a bachelor/bachelorette party. I'm not sure what else to say except that I couldn't resist checking the weird facts section and did you know "60% of males name there wang" Are you sure you didn't mean their? How can I trust you'll spell the name of my booty right if you can't get that right?

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude